Caffeine!
by Ravynne-Satu-DarkFlame
Summary: Caffeine alone is a very dangerous thing. When added to a group of powerful demons and a few not so “normal” humans it is a threat to worldwide sanity as we know it. Dun Dun Dun. BWAHAHAHA! R&R.......Pleeeeeease! Mia Jaganshi and Ravynne Satu Darkf
1. Yusuke Sees a Therapist

Chapter One:

Yusuke Sees a Therapist

A/N This is it! Keiko has finally driven poor Yusuke insane! (*Botan* Driven?!! What are you talking about? Yusuke is _already_ insane!) (*Yusuke* BOTAN!!) (*Botan* Oops! ^_^;; Gotta go!) J/K, Sorry Keiko fans! I couldn't resist! You will find that Keiko is not my most favorite character, so she will probably disappear early, and hopefully die a slow and painful death. Er…………I mean……….quick and painless. Yeah that's it. ^_^;; *blink* Anyway…………………………Everyone will be out of character most of the time, so if anyone has a problem with that, deal! I have no patience for whiners!! And I am going to say this, even though it is painfully obvious: 

**__**

I Do Not Own Yu Yu Hakusho!!!

(*pout*, unfortunately.) This is my first fanfic (Though my writing partner, Mia Jaganshi has written several poems that you can find at FictionPress.net) I hope that you enjoy this fic!

Ja ne!

~Ravynne~

A/N…*Looks around* Why are you all staring at me?!! Ooo……….lookit the shiny, sparkly, new ficcy! *random evil grin* I wish that you all _have fun_ to excess while reading this fic! Or………….umm…………….else! Yeah…-.o"" OR ELSE! Wahahahaha!…-.o" *Blinks* …*long pause* Why am I here again? To write something called "Caffeine!"??…Riiiiiiiight…Oh well…Off we go, then!

~Mia-chan ^_^"

"You want me to what?!!" Yusuke shouted.

"I want you to go and talk to this doctor…" His mother began.

"Quack, you mean!" Yusuke interrupted.

"Call her what you like, but you are going to see her!" Atsuka yelled, loosing her patience. The argument had been going on for over half an hour, which was not hard to believe. Yusuke was wearing his usual green jumpsuit and scowl, and he had just gotten back from his monthly visit to school when the argument had started.

"Well…you can't make me, so there!" 

"Now you're just being childish."

"So? There is nothing you can do to make me go talk to her," Yusuke grumbled.

"We'll see about that," Atsuka said, smiling.

Yusuke was **_still _**grumbling fifteen minutes later as he sat in the waiting room at the psychologist's office. He didn't know how his mother managed to get him there, but it was definitely by force. One minute he was standing there staring her down and the next he was being dragged down the street. She was strong when she needed to be. 

Yusuke was still in shock. She was _actually_ making him see some quack who only had some signed piece of paper stating that they were actually a professional, and anyone could sign a piece of paper. They could be a deranged killer for all he knew, not that he hadn't already met plenty of those.

Atsuka stayed out all night partying with her friends and then came home so drunk she was mumbling something about the tiny purple penguins that had eaten all of her shoes, and then had the nerve to suggest that **_he _**was crazy?!! What a great parental unit he had. She was so great that she deserved an award! Yeah, the best dysfunctional mother award. (Author's Comment (A/C) Sarcasm much?? ^.^)

He goes and saves the world, multiple times from impending doom and what does he get for his trouble? He gets sent to a psychologist! _Thank you very much Yusuke for saving our lives, we really appreciate it, now go to a psychologist!_ Yusuke was just about to perform an evasive maneuver (a.k.a "running away") when he heard his name being called.

"Urameshi, Yusuke," the voice belonged to a woman that looked like she was in her twenties. She was wearing her hair up in a bun and small, round glasses perched on her nose. "Please follow me." 

"Damn," Yusuke muttered. He sighed, got up, and followed the "doctor" into her office.

"Hi, my name is Dr. Murikami," she said after they had been seated, him on a black leather couch and her on an uncomfortable looking cedar chair.

"Well now that we know everybody's name, can you get on with psychoanalyzing me so I can get out of here?"

"I'm not going to psychoanalyze you."

"Really? Good, then I don't need to be here," Yusuke said, stranding up. He was just about to leave when a shout reverberated through the facility, "Yusuke, don't you dare!!"

Yusuke sighed, and sat back down on the couch muttering something about stupid mothers. 

"Ok, let's get this over with. I've got better things to do with my time."

"Let's start with a question and answer period."

"Fine, what do you want to know?"

"How's your home life?"

"Fine."

"And school?"

"Okay."

"I'd really appreciate answers that consist of more than one word."

"Okay."

The doctor sighed. "Your mother tells me that you have trouble with authority."

"So?"

"So, why do you think this is?"

"Well, it all started when I was seven," Dr. Murikami leaned forward and smiled, thinking that she was finally about to get some straight answers, "My mother took me to the circus, and I saw a clown, and I've never been the same since," Yusuke finished.

Dr. Murikami leaned back again, her smile fading. "Has there been any undue stress in your life?"

Yusuke sat back and thought about this one. Hmm…let's see, stress. Well, he had died, met the "Grim Reaper", and had then been brought back to life, only to be put in situations where people-and he used that term loosely-had tried to maim him, skewer him, steal his soul, beat him to a pulp, rip him apart, and in general …KILL HIM!! (again). Of course there had been stress! 

"No, none at all," Yusuke replied without blinking an eye. "How about you?"

Dr. Murakami sighed, exasperated. "Let's try a different approach. How about some inkblots?" 

"Sure, why not?"

"What do you see here?" She asked, holding up the first inkblot.

"An inkblot."

"Ok…how about here?"

"An inkblot."

"And here?"

"A puppy…no wait…it's an inkblot."

"Yusuke, be serious."

"I am being serious," Yusuke replied, smirking.

"Fine, what about this one?"

"An inkblot."

"And this one?"

"Inkblot."

"How about this one?"

"An inkblot."

"And this?"

Yusuke, now very tired of staring at a piece of white cardboard and trying to make shapes out of the black blob on it, exploded, "A damn inkblot! I see an inkblot! Why the hell don't you get that?!! I don't see anything but a friggin' inkblot!!!"

"No need to get angry," Dr. Murikami said as she wrote in her notes, 'Anger management??'

After he had calmed down Yusuke asked, "So doc, am I crazy?"

Just then a voice piped up, "Probably."

"Huh? Who said that?"

"Down here, in your communicator."

"Botan?" Yusuke asked looking at Dr. Murikami panicked.

"Bingo, Yusuke! Don't worry no one can hear you. What are you doing anyway? All I heard was you asking 'Am I crazy?'"

"Uh, nothing," Yusuke said.

"Oh ok…Well, anyway, the reason I called is that there is just a teeny emergency up here in Spirit World-"

"Emergency?! What emergency?! It's not another demon is it?" Faint shouting could be heard in the background. 

"Uh…no, this emergency is _much_ closer to home. We need you up here pronto!" she said as what looked like a cream cake sailed past her head and smashed into the wall beside her and exploded, spraying cream filling everywhere.

"Ok, I'll be right there." 

"Thanks, see you then." Botan said, looking relieved.

Yusuke got up and started running for the door, "I gotta go! Nice talking to you!"

"Wait! Where are you going? Our hour's not up yet!" Dr. Murikami said.

"Put it on my tab!" Yusuke shouted over his shoulder to her. Then, under his breath he muttered, "Thank God for emergencies, I thought I'd be in there forever."

As he was running out the front entrance of the building, Yusuke passed his mother.

"How'd it go?" she asked.

"Not so good, I'm a psychophrenic, but don't worry! They have medication for this kind of stuff." 

"You're a what?!"

"I'm a schizotic psychophrenic! Now leave me alone!" Yusuke shouted as he left his very confused mother behind.

Just then another person called out to him, "Hey Urameshi!"

"What now?" Yusuke muttered.

"Where are you going?" Kuwabara asked.

"Spirit World, there's been some kind of emergency up there."

"I'm coming with you."

"Fine, just shut up and hurry."

Yusuke and Kuwabara pushed their way through the crowds in the streets. Kuwabara was shouting, "Excuse me, Pardon me," while Yusuke shouted, "Hey you, move it! Get outta my way!"

They raced towards the portal to Spirit World that Botan had shown them after their first mission as Spirit Detectives. In order to stop other people from finding it, the portal had been placed in a small one-room building that to everyone but Yusuke and other Spirit Detectives looked like a run-down shack. Also, as an added precaution against any curious teenagers, a holographic hobo staggered out every ten minutes or so, and shouted at people to stay away from his "house". As Yusuke and Kuwabara approached the "shack" they looked around to make sure that no one was watching and ignoring the hobo slipped inside. They stepped through the doorway into a small room that was perfectly normal except that it was completely devoid of any furniture or decoration, oh, and of course there was also the swirling vortex in the middle of the floor. (A/C Not that that was very noticeable at all. ^.^) Then they looked at each other, took a deep breath, and jumped into the portal. 


	2. A Vitally Important Journey to the Super

Chapter Two: A Vitally Important Journey to...the Supermarket?!!  
  
A/N Heeeeeeeeeeeere weeeee goooooooo!!!!  
  
A teeny recap from the last chapter, (just in case you forgot!):  
  
As Yusuke and Kuwabara approached the "shack" they looked around to make sure that no one was watching, and ignoring the hobo, slipped inside. They stepped through the doorway into a small room that was perfectly normal except that it was completely devoid of any furniture or decoration, oh, and of course there was also the swirling vortex in the middle of the floor. (A/C Not that that was very noticeable at all. ^.^) Then they looked at each other, took a deep breath, and jumped into the portal. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Crash. They landed in the middle of what Yusuke had first described as, "the dead people stock exchange". Ogres rushed frantically back and forth around them; papers flying everywhere, most of them not even noticing that Yusuke and Kuwabara had just dropped down from the ceiling. Kuwabara had his large, rectangular head lodged into a computer screen and was fumbling around blindly, knocking whatever he touched over. Yusuke had just disrupted a huge pile of "important looking documents" and was now buried under them.  
"Damn it," Yusuke muttered, he was lying face down in the pile and everything around him was in disarray except of course for his dark hair, thanks to whatever miracle junk he put in it. Kuwabara still had the computer monitor attached to his head and was trying valiantly to yank it off, but the frame was such a snug fit that it simply refused to budge. Kuwabara formed his spirit sword; causing the few ogres that had noticed them to back away, and started to saw at the stubborn monitor, swearing under his breath.  
Yusuke stood slowly, trying to look like nothing unusual had happened, (A/C Yeah, he falls through random ceilings all the time, it's no big.) while at the same time he was attempting to not cause any more damage. He came to the doors of Koenma's office and was about to knock, when a sudden shout was heard, followed by a crash.  
George, the blue ogre, ran out half crying, half screaming; shouting something about how "Koenma-sir" had gone mad. (A/C And yes his name is George!) Yusuke just stood there blinking, and had just about convinced himself that it had all been a hallucination and he really hadn't seen George run out of Koenma's office covered in silly string and streamers, when a whipped-cream enveloped Botan burst through the doors. She grabbed Kuwabara (who had finally removed the computer screen from his head, and accidentally flung it out the window), and Yusuke by the collars of their jumpsuits, and literally dragged them into Koenma's office, slamming the door behind them.  
"Look at him!" she cried hysterically, pointing at Koenma, who was literally bouncing off the walls, (the floor, the ceiling, and anything else he came into contact with. If you are a "little god", you probably have this power anyway.) He was laughing chaotically as he sprang from surface to surface and there were the remains of what looked like a vase scattered on the floor. Watching this, Botan turned a shade of light pink, and Yusuke and Kuwabara promptly sweat-dropped. (A/C That is now a verb; to sweat-drop, I sweat-drop, you sweat-drop, he/she sweat-drops, etc.) It was then that Yusuke noticed that Kurama and Hiei were already present, Kurama looking slightly amused and Hiei expressionless. Yusuke nudged Kuwabara; who was staring at Koenma with a look of absolute horror on his face, knocking him out of his stupor and they walked over to where Kurama and Hiei were standing.  
"What's going on?" Yusuke inquired.  
"I'm not quite sure, but it has been going on for a while now," Kurama replied.  
"So, what's the emergency?" Kuwabara asked stupidly, looking confused. (A/C Err.Isn't that how he normally looks?!)  
"I don't know! What could possibly be wrong with this scene?!" Yusuke said sarcastically, gesturing towards the still bouncing Koenma, who was now leaving huge dents in the walls and everything else he hit. Yusuke then asked, "Umm.Botan.What the hell are we supposed to do?!"  
"I don't know! Stop him, detain him, stun him for all I care! Just do something!" Botan shouted, clearly at the end of her rope. (A/C And she always seemed so cheerful, too.)  
Koenma stopped bouncing and bounded up to Yusuke, "Get more, more, more, get more!" he sniggered, appearing to be somewhat drunk.  
"Erm.more what?!!" Yusuke asked, clearly clueless as to what to do with a drunken god.  
"Good stuff!" Koenma stated happily, holding out an empty bottle.  
"Let me see that," Kuwabara said, reaching for the bottle.  
"No! Mine!" Koenma shouted and then he bit Kuwabara's hand.  
"Oww! He bit me! The little brat bit me!" He whimpered.  
"Well that was obvious, or do you scream like a girl all the time?" Yusuke asked the screeching redhead.  
"Look!" Kuwabara exclaimed, "I'm bleeding! I'm bleeeeeeeeeeeding!"  
"Well, if you don't let us see the bottle, we don't know what was in it, and if we don't know what was in it then we can't get you more," Kurama said sensibly.  
"Oh, okiday!" Koenma said while enjoying Kuwabara's anguish. He happily handed over the bottle.  
"Pure caffeine," Kurama said reading the label of the clear, glass bottle.  
"Give me that," Yusuke said taking the bottle from Kurama, apparently not worried about being bitten.  
"Caffeine, caffeine, caffeine!" Koenma sang. "Get me more caffeine!"  
"Oh shit," Yusuke said, taking a closer look at the bottle. There was a warning label on the back of it. The warning said:  
Warning:  
Not intended to be given to 'small gods'  
under any circumstances. May have  
disastrous results such as fire, flood,  
chaos, property damage, and the  
Apocalypse...  
"What?" Everyone asked.  
"It says, 'not intended to be given to small gods under any circumstances." Yusuke replied. If he had only finished reading the rest of the warning label it would have said: .This warning also applies to demons, humans with "supernatural powers", and all otherworldly beings.  
"Well there is no helping it now," Botan said shrugging, looking exhausted, she had finally been able to remove all of the whipped-cream from her person.  
"So what are we supposed to do?"  
"Get more caffeine!" Koenma interrupted.  
"As much as I hate to say this, but Koenma, being the Prince of Spirit World, does get to order people-namely you-around. So.get him more caffeine." Botan said sighing in defeat. Shouts of, 'Yay! I'm gonna get more caffeine!' could be heard.  
"Okay," Yusuke said rubbing his neck. "But it's gonna be hard to find, that stuff is really rare." he continued, winking at Botan.  
"Really! That's too bad." she said, her face lighting up.  
"No it's not! Caffeine is in everything! Especially, Mt. Dew!" Kuwabara interjected. Yusuke promptly stomped on his foot. "Hey what'd you do that for?! Oh.oops."  
"Kuwabara, you idiot!" Botan and Yusuke shouted simultaneously at him. (A/C What an understatement.)  
"Mt. Dew! Mt. Dew! Get me Mt. Dew! Mt. Deeeeeeewwww!!!" Koenma yelled.  
"Great, just great. Thanks a lot Kuwabara." Yusuke said.  
"I'm guessing that you would like us to go along and assist on this.'mission'." Kurama said.  
"Yes, would you? I need someone to make sure that they don't screw up."  
"Hey! We won't screw up-" Yusuke began.  
"Just to be safe I had better go along, too. Let's go," Botan said pushing them all out the door. "Bye Prince Koenma, we'll be back soon!"  
"Whee! Caffeine!" was the only response that she got.  
"I actually just needed to get out of there. Do you know how hard it is to get whipped-cream out of your hair?" Botan asked once they were out of Koenma's range of hearing. Then looking at Yusuke's perfect hair she said, "No, probably not." (A/C Whoo! ^_^")  
On their way towards the portal that would transport them back to the Human World, they saw George who was huddled in a corner muttering to himself.  
"George, you watch Koenma while we're gone," Botan said as they passed. George got up and ran screaming in the opposite direction.  
"Oh well, Koenma will be fine by himself," she said shrugging, but she sounded uncertain. (A/C Hopeful thinking, yes?)  
Meanwhile, Kuwabara was trying to piece everything together. Botan had called them to Spirit World in order to tell them about an emergency, and now they were going to get Koenma Mt. Dew and it took five people to go get it? Whoosh, that went way over his head!  
Sighing, Kuwabara just followed everyone else. "Urameshi.?" he asked after a little while.  
"What?" Yusuke answered as they exited the Gates of Judgment.  
".What are we doing again?" the dazed, ginger haired, teenager asked.  
  
Yusuke blinked, and looked around the outside of the Gates, until he spotted a swirling void, the re-entry to the Human World.  
"You heard Koenma, right?"  
Kuwabara nodded slowly, "Yeah.?"  
"Well, we've got to get him Mt. Dew," the raven (A/C Heh.^.^" Ravynne. Whee! Wordplay.) haired boy explained.  
"Hurry up you two! Hiei and Kurama have already gone through!" Botan shouted and then she jumped into the portal herself.  
Yusuke walked up to the portal and jumped in as if it was as normal as jumping into a swimming pool.  
Kuwabara followed, but more slowly, acting as if the entry to the Human World was going to bite him like Koenma had. Nevertheless, he jumped in after Yusuke, whispering, "Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me."  
They both landed rather gently, just missing Botan, who was to busy shying away from the holographic hobo like he was dangerous to notice. Yusuke, by now used to him just waved and then walked out of the building that housed the portal between Spirit World and the Human World. Hiei, Kurama, Kuwabara, and Botan followed, Botan a little too quickly to pass as calm.  
"And you're supposed to be the Grim Reaper," Yusuke muttered under his breath, causing Botan to blush and smack him. (A/C ^_^" Oi.)  
"So where do we go from here?" Hiei, who had been silent up to this point asked.  
"I guess we go to the store to buy Mt. Dew," Yusuke replied. "The nearest one is the supermarket four blocks from here."  
"Okay then let's go," Botan said.  
As they walked the four blocks to the store they didn't have any problem with the crowds in the streets. It seemed like people went out of their way to avoid them, one guy even ran into a streetlight in his effort to escape their path. (A/C O.O"") They probably did look like a strange group, a blue haired female with an oar, the best fighter of Sarayashiki Junior High, Kuwabara (A/C.uh.yeah, who speaks for himself), not to mention Hiei and Kurama. (A/C Ravynne- Me? I'd love to run into them on the street, but of course I am the one writing this fic so that explains that. Mia-Me too! Me too! ^.^" Kyaaa! Demondemondemonde- Ravynne- *thwack* -.-")  
They had just gotten inside the store when all of a sudden there was a bright flash of light and a puff of pink and green polka-dotted smoke. (A/C I'm not sure how it could possibly polka-dotted, but it is. So leave me alone!) As the smoke dissipated Yusuke could see a form appearing and when the smoke finally cleared it revealed a caffeinated but regal looking teenager with a blue pacifier and 'Jr' tattooed on his forehead. "Koenma?!!" they all cried in unison. "How'd you get here?" Botan asked. Koenma placed his hands on his hips and then stated imperiously, "I am King of the cotton balls, I can do anything!" Botan sighed; apparently Koenma was still caffeine high, everyone else laughed uneasily and sweat-dropped. "Okay, so what are you doing here 'King Koenma'?" Hiei asked. "Well, I decided to come and make sure that you guys didn't mess up, I want regular Mt. Dew, none of this diet crap. Plus you were taking to long and I got bored waiting for you," he replied pouting slightly.  
"Too long?! We've only been gone for fifteen minutes!" Yusuke shouted. "Oh.Oh well!" Koenma said all smiles once again. "What are you waiting for? Let's go get my Mt. Dew!"  
There was a huge collective sigh and then they went to go get Koenma his Mt. Dew. They got to where all the soda was and located the fizzy caffeinated liquid. Then Koenma, his eyes getting wider exclaimed, "I want all of it!" Hiei, Yusuke, and Kurama collected the Mt. Dew while Botan and Kuwabara retrieved carts to put it all in, Koenma just stood off to the side shaking in anticipation and delight. When they finished they had collected every single can, bottle, and case of Mt. Dew that the store had.  
On their way out of the supermarket one of the cashiers stopped them, "Hey, you have to pay for that! You can't just leave!" Hiei, seeing his chance to actually do something in this 'mission', took out his katana and smiled threateningly, causing the cashier to back away. "N-never m-mind you can go, j-just take it," he stammered, terrified.  
"That's what I thought," Hiei stated smugly. Just then Koenma broke in, "What?!! They dare try to prevent the great Koenma, King of the Cotton balls of Doom from getting his royal supply of Mt. Dew?!!! They shall pay with their miserable lives!" As he was shouting the walls of the supermarket started to shake and food began toppling from the shelves.  
"I'd run if I were you," Kurama said looking at the petrified cashier, who nodded and fled. Not a second later all of the other customers in the store dropped everything and followed his example.  
"Let's leave now," Koenma said calmly, walking out of the still trembling store. Yusuke and the others just shrugged their shoulders and followed him out, pushing the carts full of Mt. Dew. When they had gotten about fifty yards away from the store Koenma paused and looked at it, the store immediately burst into flames. Koenma then turned around and continued on his way.  
"Are you sure we're allowed to take these carts?" Kuwabara asked tentatively. "Well it's not like they're going to use them anymore," Yusuke responded looking back at the burning building.  
"Oh, yeah," Kuwabara mumbled.  
"That was fun, let's do it again!" Koenma piped up, apparently back to his hyper caffeinated state. (A/C Mood swings much?) No one said anything. "Only this time let's go to a bigger store," he continued, as if everyone in the group had had something to do with the total destruction of the supermarket. "Like the biggest store in Japan! Yeah! I wanna go to the biggest supermarket in Japan!" he exclaimed.  
"That's twelve miles away!" Yusuke hollered. "So?" Koenma asked innocently, his eyes wide. There was another huge collective sigh and they set off for the supermarket.  
"Why can't we take the train or something?" Kuwabara complained after about forty minutes of walking. "Do you actually think that they would allow this much Mt. Dew on a train?" Botan asked incredulously, gesturing towards the fifteen full shopping carts trailing behind them. She had some how managed to rig them so that they moved on their own and all followed the lead cart which was attached to her oar. Botan had also programmed her oar so that it moved by itself and followed her, apparently she couldn't ride it while it was leading the carts. "Oh right, I kinda forgot about those," Botan just rolled her eyes, sighed, and kept walking. It was then that Yusuke picked up a bottle of Mt. Dew, "I still don't understand why caffeine had the affect that it did on Koenma. I mean humans eat food with caffeine in it basically everyday. Why would it affect 'small gods' any differently than humans?" "Don't ask me, I don't understand it any better than you do," Botan said. "I guess it doesn't really matter anymore," Yusuke replied placing the Mt. Dew bottle back in the cart, nearly hitting Koenma with it in the process. He had some how managed to cram himself into the overflowing cart and was sitting, grinning, buried up to his neck in bottles of Mt. Dew.  
"Hey, how come he gets to ride?!" Kuwabara asked, half joking. "Kuwabara, shut up." (A/C Wheeeee...)  
So there they were on their way to the largest supermarket in Japan at the whim of the caffeine high, Prince of Spirit World (A/C Or should I say the King of the Cotton balls of Doom ^_^"), and everything was going fine, that is, it was until they got thirsty. A/N Woot! Cliffhanger!!! But it is obvious what is going to happen next. Isn't it? If it isn't then...Where have you been the last two chapters??!!!!! ^_^ Love to everyone that has reviewed!  
Ja ne!  
~Ravynne ^-^ A/N Nyesh. Sorry for the delay in updatage. Lerv to our fans! *counts them*.T.T Single digits?!?! *flails arms* Ravy-chan, we must advertise.  
~Mia ^.^V 


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